Monday, March 27, 2006

Sunny weather

Aww, every one of you was so nice about my last post that I actually felt guilty for not creating a Real Post for today. I promise there will be something interesting coming this week, but until then, here is how we celebrate sunshine and over 50-degree temps in Central PA: we go to the park with Sam and Nina, aka The Most Adorable Twins in PA, and mommymatic manages to capture a few pics before her camera batteries totally die. You asked for pictoral cuteness, and we deliver. Your satisfaction is our number one priority here at Mommymatic, so without further ado:

Because, Sam. Sometimes you feel like a nut.

Man, that yappy Jack Russell is lucky that 14 month olds have such bad aim. (of course, this caption is for satirical purposes only. Mommymatic does not condone nor find amusing the Throwing of Objects for Painful Purposes, even at Yappy, Football-shaped Dogs.)

Heeey, Nina, what's up? You wanna catch a cup of milk later? No?

What?? Just because
she is in there and I am out here does NOT mean I am stalking her. I'm just, aaah, brushing up on my tunnel-cruising technique.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

One for the mommybloggers

Well, I'm just brimming with pride and joy from all the support my dear readers left in the comments section of my last post. Thanks, dudes. You know how to help a sistah out.

But I have a confession. After reading this post by Kristen, I have realized that--gasp!--I'm a mommy blogger, not a mom-blogger. Apparently, my un-hip, posting-pictures-of-our-offspring sisters and I are in the "mommy blogger" category, while those of you who are Cool and Have Things to Say and Do It With Style are in the mom-blogger (or, if you prefer, parent blogger) category. Now, I'm not saying I'm totally humorless (and Mrs. Davis says that the main difference is the funny factor), and I'm not saying I do nothing but blather about how fun life is with my child (because, let's face it, it isn't ALWAYS nonstop laughs around here), but I'm definitely more of a mommy-girl than a mom-type. But you know, I'm cool with that.

And with that, I give you yet another picture-laden post of my offspring and one of his first face-to-muzzle encounter with the dog downstairs. I call it "Boy Meets Beagle":

D: Nice doggie.
Sparky: How 'bout a treat?

D: Okaaaay: Sit. That's the sign for sit, right? No? Roll over?
Sparky: No treat here. Dang.

D: Seriously, dude, SIT.

Or, you know, just look for something on the ground. That's cool, too.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

With friends like these...

Actual transcript of a conversation I had on Sunday with a 'friend' I'll call PK:

PK: Wow, I do not know if I could handle moving to Salt Lake City.

Mommymatic: Yeah, well, it's a big change, but I'm trying to stay positive, you know, in realizing that it's a great place for kids, and hey, Mormons are way into being family-centric, right?

PK: Well, my neighbors, who are ex-Mormons, just moved from there a couple of years ago because their sons were in middle school, and they said that once you're in high school in Salt Lake City, you're either Mormon or you're in a gang.

Mommymatic: Really?

PK: Yep, it's like one or the other.

Mommymatic: Wow. Well, hey, thanks for helping me stay positive, because I'll tell ya, what I needed to hear right now was your advice to stock up on bandannas and learn some C*rips lingo and not, say, your secret tips on how to pack china and glassware so it doesn't chip. You know, while we're at it, if you've got some lemon juice handy, I have a couple of paper cuts from yesterday that haven't healed up yet...

Okay, I didn't say the last part. I kind of wish I had, but I didn't. I know I'm overreacting, but dude, what's UP with people?

Monday, March 20, 2006

Now if I only spoke the same language...

My weekly D-video fix. Sorry, Kristen, still no good vids from DM. Your request *is* being processed.

Video Sharing at

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Grown-up questions

So in our frenzy to getamortgagefindahousebuyahousemoveallourcrap2000miles, I have started asking myself some Big Questions. To be fair, I asked myself some Big Questions when I found out I was pregnant, but I was awfully busy marathon-napping, throwing back saltines and fries and hating myself for not following the What To Expect Pregnancy Bible to focus all that much brain power on them. But now that the Baby is a Toddler, and Daddymatic is getting a Real Job and we are embarking on a move that someone else is at least partially paying for (which means not renting, packing and driving our own truck for once), the Questions will not rest.

They cluster around a theme, which is to say they all start with the words “Would a Real Grown Up do X?”

If I may?

Would a Real Grown Up seriously consider just throwing most of her stuff away so she won’t have to worry about packing it up?

Would a Real Grown Up allow her child to suck on fresh diaper wipes just so changing his diaper is easier than, say, branding him with a small tattoo of her initials, thus saving her priceless energy which might then be spent perusing homes on the internet she no doubt cannot afford?

Would a Real Grown Up put her hand over the phone and mock the moving company representative to her toddler while the representative explains in detail why it’s simply NOT possible to guarantee my stuff will get to Utah in less than 3 WEEKS?

Would a Real Grown Up not only fob the mortgage guy’s call off to the answering machine but also refuse to play the message so she can pretend she never got it?

Would a Real Grown Up allow her child to eat half a dozen graham crackers just so she can talk to the nice lady from Daddy’s new department about child care options?

Would a Real Grown Up actually cry at the new Century 21 commercial—you know, the one with the kids who are 3 and 1 and the husband gives in and goes for the house while the realtor cheers from the speakerphone?

So what are your “Would a Real Grown Up” questions? Lay 'em on me. Tell me I'm not the only one.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

The Four Cutest Seconds of Last Week

Well, once he heard Juniper could find hers, he had to try too. This is what D learned to do this week.

Video Sharing at

My apologies to Kristen: Daddymatic indeed shot an adorable video of D last week, chock full of audio and everything, but he shot it "portrait" so you'd have to hold your head (or your monitor) sideways in order to view it, and none of the cheapo editing software I have will allow you to rotate the orientation (not that there's anything wrong with that) of the video. But I hope next week, Daddymatic will have footage for y'all.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Mommymatic turns 100

Well, 100 posts, that is. To celebrate, I got my man Jon and Daddymatic to help me out with some updating. Like it? Jon designed the fuh-abulous new banner--ain't it sweet? Daddymatic helped me with the tedious (and possibly ongoing) job of tweaking fonts and colors. Unfortunately the colors may need more tweaking than we first thought, but it's a blog in progress, right?

Since I know you all see the new tagline, you're thinking you didn't win--NOT SO!! There are TWO--well, three, kinda--other winners, but I put Jon's up first since he helped me so much with the new banner. The other winners were Nancy with "I'm a mom, not a machine" (this banner is organge) and Izzy with "Don't make me turn this blog around!" (this one is blue). would also like to ask Cookie if I can add her "Salty as the lake, sweet as candy" tagline to the rotation once we move to Salt Lake. I'm hoping Jon will hook me up with a script that will allow me to rotate through all three banners automatically (or mommymatically, if you will) but until then, I'll swap 'em out every few days or so. So Nancy, Izzy, and BMC, send me an email at stefanierj at yahoo dot com and lemme know if you want a bag or a sweet treat, where to send it, and if you choose the bag option, include a couple of pix of your cherubic offspring so's I can put them on the bag.

And can I say now what an EXCRUCIATING process it was to have to choose between all the totally brilliant suggestions you peeps came up with? I really appreciate the time everyone took to think about my lack-of-tagline panache, and I hope the haloscan comments eventually reappear so that I can look at the "32" in the comments box and get a little teary that you guys cared. (I'm feeling a little Sally Field 'you like me, you really like me' right now--can you tell?) Suffice it to say: THANKS!! You guys ROCK.

So I've been busy with the blog-sprucing, move-prepping, diss writing (yes! actual writing! note that I didn't say great writing, but hey--gotta start somewhere) and all that other mess, but I promise the next post will be back to business as usual. I'm hoping to make the weekend video post a regular thing, and daddymatic said he got a cute one today (he may have drawled a little extra on the audio just for Kristen). So stay tuned for that!

Saturday, March 04, 2006

The tease

I hope you like ham with your post:

Video Sharing at

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I need help (but you knew that)

I want a good tag line. You know, like Mom-101's "I don't know what I'm doing either" or Cookie's "My life as a professional amateur." I was going to full-out steal borrow Misfit Hausfrau's "Better living through yelling" (and give her credit, OF COURSE!) since she isn't using it anymore, but then I thought, shoot, I have the most funny, creative, adorable, not-immune-to-being-flattered people stopping by the ol' blog, so maybe they can help!!

So I'm caving in to the new blogtrend and offering a prize for some help. Unfortunately, I'm on a grad-student budget, so I can't offer custom onesies or softies or cool t-shirts, but I'll make you a cute (read: very simple) tote bag with your offpring's picture on it. I made one for Heather and she kinda dug it and wrote about it and posted pics of it here. Or I can get Daddymatic to make you a suh-weet treat. (he's the baker in the family, and D and I are the eaters).

So help a sistah out, wontcha? Post your ideas in the comments section. Bee-bee sent me an email with the line "If it's not one thing, it's your mother" in it, which *is* a contender, but I know you guys can come up with something even bettah!! I'll announce the winner--and unveil the new tag line-- in a week.