Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Advice from Sistermatic

I got nothing. A weekend-plus of the world's worst case of croup (people still get that! some people get it THREE TIMES A YEAR! Who knew?), a visit from the Outlawz, and about a thousand other things too gross or petty to name have just wiped me out.

Luckily, however, my sister is funnier and cleverer--and apparently better rested--than I am, and she sent me this nugget of advice I thought the interwebs might appreciate:

She and her husband who have been married less than a year (read: still honeymoonish and completely nauseating) just got custody of his son last week. This morning I got this email:

>From: sistermatic
>To: stefanierj
>Subject: New Equation
>Some things you have to learn the hard way, I guess.....
>Threat of thunderstorms + 7 year old = wear PJs to bed

See, now don't say we don't never offer advice on this here blog.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

My personal answer to "what could possibly be more boring than reality TV?"

So say what you will about Di$ney, but whatever sticker company they license their "Car$" products to must freaking rock, because D gave me a sticker for my hand yesterday, and it has lasted through the following:

1 very splashy and interactive toddler bath
1 very wiggly and silly toddler diapering and baby-lotion-applying session
1 sinkful of dishes with the level 2 extra-greasy-slime option package
1 pre-in-law-visit-panic-mode guest room cleaning
2 loads of laundry (which had to be hung up to dry, not because I'm all getting into the Laura Ingalls-y pioneering spirit of Utah or have become angst-fully aware of my carbon footprint, sad to say, but because my dryer is apparently more moody than I am, and a darn sight harder to mollify with a pedicure and a handful of candy bars)
1 shower
1 post-shower high-maintenance product application routine
1 excessively type-A hairdrying routine
3 car-to-office/office-to-car trips. in the rain. without an umbrella. because I am dumb. and this, for Pete's sake, is THE DESERT WEST.

So now I am taking bets as to which will come first: will the sticker wear off? or will someone from my office who no doubt knows me as an Uptight Office Type finally, finally, finally ask why I have a raggedy-ass kid's sticker on my hand?

This is what passes for entertainment when you only have basic cable, people. You have been warned.