Tinkle Tinkle, little boy

So you may have noticed our decided lack of news on the pottytraining front here at Chez Mommymatic. That's because there hasn't been any. I've been trying not to freak out about the fact that some lovely people have managed to potty train their children scant months after their two-year birthdays and that we, up until the last few weeks have only shown a third-party kind of interest in the whole toileting business.

That is, until one of the preschool teachers tapped into the two great toddler currencies (peer pressure and high-fructose-corn-syrup-based products) and persuaded the One True Child to (drumroll, please) PEE-PEE INNA POTTY. Here is how Daddymatic and D broke the news to me:

Daddymatic: Tell mama what happened at school today.

D: I fell DOOOOWN.

Daddymatic: No, tell mama what OTHER thing happened today.

D: ((crickets chirping))

Daddymatic: ((whispers in D's ear))

D: I go pee-pee inna potty. ((pause)) I GET CANDY.

Ah, yes. It seems we have found the magic motivation in the form of...jellybeans. Unfortunately, we also have a toddler who is smarter than both of his parents put together, because the other night before his bath, he begged to be put on the potty. Normally, this is nothing more than a stalling technique, but it's an effective one, since we simply cannot seem to take the gamble of refusing him. I won't double down on an 11, but I'll take 100 to 1 odds that he will actually pee, because this time is different. This time could be the one!

Well, lo and behold--this time? He did. He tinkled a bit and was thrilled to recieve 3 jellybeans for his trouble. He got in the tub, and announced 5 minutes later that he had to pee-pee again. Now, he knows that candy is only distributed for actual fecal or urinary production, so I was curious to see what he'd do since he'd just peed, and the little stinker peed another, oh, pint or so. So either they are putting real coffee in his daviscoffee (why is it that one cup of coffee going in equals 3 coming out again?) or this little bugger has figured out how to hold some back in order to maximize his jellybean intake. Either way, I think I speak for the entire Matic parenting unit when I say "Craaaaaaap."

But seriously, it's a very good thing. I haven't been pursuing the potty training thing for a number of reasons, top among them being the fact that it would really cut into my Laying Around on the Couch time, and yesterday it became clear that It Is Time, because an untimely diaper full of poop throws quite a wrench into one's sequence of errands, especially when said person has been Laying Around on the Couch instead of, say, making sure there were extra diapers stashed in the car.

So we shall see. I welcome and solicit any advice (or shoot, even assvice) you have to offer, dear reader (and that's not a reference to Ann Landers, it's because I'm sure all but one of you have totally given up on my ever posting again).

Oh, and yes, Bee-bee and Grampy were here for 2 weeks, so there should be a post coming about their visit, which might soon be renamed The Least Stressful Two Weeks of my Recent Past.

I will leave you with some cute recent pics and D's favorite memory of my father from this last trip: "Gumpy havva loud nose." Apparently, heaping this child with gifts and food is second to having the most dramatic nasal-mucus-expelling routine ever. Let this be a lesson to you, friends: you never know what you are going to be remembered for.

This is Bee-bee's favorite picture. Yes, she made the apron. Daddymatic has a matching one. Yes, you may throw up in your mouth now. It really is THAT cute.

This is my favorite recent picture. And his mouth is open in both of these pictures because he almost. never. stops. talking. Finally, a trait for the Outlaws to claim!! *cough, cough*